How to smash a coconut

Smashing a coconut takes a lot of mental and physical preparation. The proper tools are crucial. And deciding how to hold it still can be difficult. But with the right mindset and know-how, enjoying your coconut can be an exciting food experience.

  1. Once you have located your coconut, take it home and locate your tools. You should have a chisel and a hammer handy, as well as a large bowl or a brave friend to help hold the sucker still. If you decided to use a machete, all bets are off. I take no responsibility for the missing limbs or any other outcome.
  2. Place your coconut in front of you. We will have to prepare the coconut for the initial attack. You will have to assert your alpha-dominance by staring the coconut down prior to smashing. You need to let it know you mean business. This will cause the coconut to submit and lie dormant, allowing you to sneak up on it with your chisel.
  3. Quickly take the chisel and hammer and drive a hole into the top, before the coconut has time to react. ejoy the coconut water as is, or pour into a glass and chill for later. Yum!

Next we want to get to the meat of the coconut, because that is the best part. Now that you have incapacitated the coconut and enjoyed it’s juice, you will have an easier tme handling the coconut for smashing, which can be a difficult and dangerous task.

  1. Bring your coconut outside to a suitable location. The concrete steps work wonderfully, but a large rock will do.
  2. The proper stance is crucial. Stand with feet wider than shoulder width. You need to bend at the knees slightly, and straddle your coconut-smashing object.
  3. Bring the coconut overhead with both hands. Prepare yourself. Quckly bring the coconut down on the sharp edge of the steps or rock, being careful not to completely release the coconut so as to not lose any pieces, but also so as to not smash any fingers.
  • If you are at a Crossfit box doing your WOD, a handy barbell or kettlebell should work as well. Do your overhead press or other olympic lift with coconut on the ground in front of you. Bring the barbel down squarely on top of the coconut, and enjoy!
  • Once your coconut has been successfully smashed, you can scrape out the insides with a tool of your chosing, or just use your teeth. Yum! Have fun and enjoy your coconut.
  • If broken properly so that you have a coconut-bowl, you can leave the water inside and add rum. This makes a great treat to sip in the sun. It’s like a mini vacation! All right!

 

Let me know about your coconut experiences. Post your results to comments!

Like this post? Want to find out more about how to get in shape fast? Check out these articles about getting in shape, feeling great, and controlling your genes!

Lower bodyfat setpoint.

Lose stubborn body fat. (Intermittent fasting)

Control your gene expression.

Heavy strength training is a required aspect of long term health. For everybody.

How to train your body to burn fat all day long. High intensity interval training (HIIT).

Why you should avoid too many polyunsaturated fats.

What is chronic inflammation. What to eat to avoid it.

The final word on grains and legumes: AVOID them.

The final word on Saturated fat and Cholesterol: EAT them

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