Coffee grinding for noobs

I love coffee. I love it so much. You need to know how to grind it properly for the best flavor, because if you don’t, you end up with a bitter coffee, or a weak cup, or you might get too many grinds in the cup.

We’re going to fix all that. Here are some of the most popular methods explained.

Drip coffee is the simplest for most people, but it has some drawbacks in flavor. And since the carafe is on a hot plate, coffee can become burned and ruined easily. If you must use a drip maker, the grind depends on the type of filter you are using. Flat bottom and permanent re-usable filters use a medium grind, similar to the texture of sand. Cone shaped filters should have a med/fine grind, slightly finer than table sugar. Drip coffee is pretty run-of-the-mill boring.

Percolated coffee is stronger, and somewhat harsher. Some people dislike perk because of the high temperature boiling water, which can burn the coffee. There are purists out there who would disagree, of course. For percolator, use a meduim grind. Coffee should be a bit more course to avoid grinds in the cup. A fine grind will make it stronger, but you will have a lot of grinds in the bottom of your mug. If you’re careful with your temp, it’s pretty easy to make a decent cup.

French press has a cult following. I can see why. Once I tried my first cup of french press, I never wanted to go back. It seems to have more caffeine content. The grinds are in constant contact with the hot water, so the longer it sits, the more flavor and caffeine it emparts. You also have more control over the water temperature. The perfect cup, I’ve heard, is brewed between 195 and 200 degrees F. French press uses a coarse grind due to the length of time coffee is in contact with the water, and to keep it from flowing through the filter. All in all, the amount of flavor and caffeine depends on how long you let it sit before hitting the plunger. I really enjoy french press. It offers full control over flavor and temperature, depending on how you want it!

Pour-over coffee is another one of my recent favorites. It takes a bit more skill and timing to get it right. You want to wait until your kettle is boiling before you grind the beans, to make sure everything is as fresh as possible. Ground coffee loses a lot of its aromatics within the first minute of being ground. Cloth filters seem to be ther preferred method of filtering, since it makes a cleaner cup, and allows more of the coffee oils to drip through, something that paper or nylon filters won’t allow. While pouring, the trick is to saturate all the grinds, pouring in a circular motion, SLOWLY, and stir the mixture “slurry” until it drains down into the cup. The grind for pour-over coffee is coarse, like sand.

That’s it. Now get caffeinated!

get stoneage


How to smash a coconut

Smashing a coconut takes a lot of mental and physical preparation. The proper tools are crucial. And deciding how to hold it still can be difficult. But with the right mindset and know-how, enjoying your coconut can be an exciting food experience.

  1. Once you have located your coconut, take it home and locate your tools. You should have a chisel and a hammer handy, as well as a large bowl or a brave friend to help hold the sucker still. If you decided to use a machete, all bets are off. I take no responsibility for the missing limbs or any other outcome.
  2. Place your coconut in front of you. We will have to prepare the coconut for the initial attack. You will have to assert your alpha-dominance by staring the coconut down prior to smashing. You need to let it know you mean business. This will cause the coconut to submit and lie dormant, allowing you to sneak up on it with your chisel.
  3. Quickly take the chisel and hammer and drive a hole into the top, before the coconut has time to react. ejoy the coconut water as is, or pour into a glass and chill for later. Yum!

Next we want to get to the meat of the coconut, because that is the best part. Now that you have incapacitated the coconut and enjoyed it’s juice, you will have an easier tme handling the coconut for smashing, which can be a difficult and dangerous task.

  1. Bring your coconut outside to a suitable location. The concrete steps work wonderfully, but a large rock will do.
  2. The proper stance is crucial. Stand with feet wider than shoulder width. You need to bend at the knees slightly, and straddle your coconut-smashing object.
  3. Bring the coconut overhead with both hands. Prepare yourself. Quckly bring the coconut down on the sharp edge of the steps or rock, being careful not to completely release the coconut so as to not lose any pieces, but also so as to not smash any fingers.
  • If you are at a Crossfit box doing your WOD, a handy barbell or kettlebell should work as well. Do your overhead press or other olympic lift with coconut on the ground in front of you. Bring the barbel down squarely on top of the coconut, and enjoy!
  • Once your coconut has been successfully smashed, you can scrape out the insides with a tool of your chosing, or just use your teeth. Yum! Have fun and enjoy your coconut.
  • If broken properly so that you have a coconut-bowl, you can leave the water inside and add rum. This makes a great treat to sip in the sun. It’s like a mini vacation! All right!


Let me know about your coconut experiences. Post your results to comments!

Like this post? Want to find out more about how to get in shape fast? Check out these articles about getting in shape, feeling great, and controlling your genes!

Lower bodyfat setpoint.

Lose stubborn body fat. (Intermittent fasting)

Control your gene expression.

Heavy strength training is a required aspect of long term health. For everybody.

How to train your body to burn fat all day long. High intensity interval training (HIIT).

Why you should avoid too many polyunsaturated fats.

What is chronic inflammation. What to eat to avoid it.

The final word on grains and legumes: AVOID them.

The final word on Saturated fat and Cholesterol: EAT them